Exercise for me is my way to keep stress under control. It
keeps me ‘normal’ and I swear blind that I haven’t had a ‘proper’ argument with
my partner since I took up running (whatever he may say!). I knew that exercise benefitted my mental
health but I didn’t realise just how much…..
Now I like to think I’m the sort of person that keeps
emotion at bay, looks at things in black and white and is quite grounded. I’ll always help and support anyone that wants
it or I feel could do with it. My home,
work and exercise elements of life have always been pretty stable until my Iife
got crazy busy.
At the beginning of winter I got a promotion and spent the
next six months working 100 hour weeks, trying to get up to speed and also recruiting
for my own replacement (completely all my choice). At the same time I took up
the role of secretary to my father-in-law who had been diagnosed with vascular
dementia a few months earlier. Over the
next six months he moved in to independent living and then a care home, had two
long stints in hospital, many doctors’ appointments and at the same time his
condition was quickly deteriorating.
Doing all the admin for this was easy, watching the most incredible man
you’ve ever met deteriorate before your very eyes, not so much.
In my simple world I prioritise my domain with home life and
family (nothing more important), work as you spend so much time doing it and it
pays or the home life and then exercise is the nice to have, but also the one
to forfeit when time doesn’t allow. So
as life got busy my training went to pot, I was supposed to be training for
London Marathon – this consisted of a half marathon PB, a DNF and not much else
– I was failing. The one thing that kept me sane and de-stressed was getting
further away from me.
Sparing you all the details, I reached my limit walking out
of my father-in-law’s apartment on a Friday evening after having ‘do not
resuscitate’ conversations with the doctor, receiving a text from my mother
that she’s splitting up with her partner and knowing that I was behind at work
and needed to work all weekend just to keep afloat. I cried, I didn’t feel I
could cope with anything else that was out of my control. I hate feeling sorry
for myself so I cried some more.
Even if
I had the time for a run, this stuff couldn’t be run off.
I’ve seen a few people that have gone to
really dark places when they are forced not to exercise due to injury – it’s
pretty scary seeing people shut out their familiar worlds and detach themselves
from their exercise buddies.
My exercise buddies up to now were like-minded people who we
had a laugh together, life never got serious, we always encouraged each other
whether it was learning to swim or competing at ironman. I completely underestimated this type of
friendship. Friends because we choose to
be, because we like each other, because we have common interests and not just
because we’ve known each other for years.
I know I didn’t ask for help out loud but whatever happened, they heard
me, they checked up on me, they gave me so much support mentally and they gave
me a focus. I began to focus not on what I was missing out on but what I was
going back to after everything settled down.
I knew they’d still be there, all the same friendly faces with chat,
hugs, cake, encouragement, more hugs and undoubtedly more cake.
The thought of this, along with so many support messages got
me through the marathon. The mind is so powerful and I knew that if my mates
believed I could do it then I could.
Mental positivity far outweighed the lack of training. Said mates came
down to London to support and knowing that I was seeing them on course was the
final bit of encouragement that I needed.
The run may have been a personal worst for me but I never felt so
supported and loved in my entire life. I
knew it wouldn’t be quick or pretty but I also knew that I wouldn’t let them
down by pulling out.
So a few months on, my father-in-law is now at peace, work
has settled to a manageable level and I’m back in the exercise circle. The lesson that life taught me is not the
benefits that exercise can have on your mental health but the benefits of the
people that you meet through it. These guys and girls in my life won’t ever
realise how much I needed them, I am always in their debt for such kindness.
My exercise buddies keep me sane, they keep me motivated and
they absolutely fuel my fun.
